Just Some Thoughts

Maybe I went down a size before I went to the gym. My measurements didn't change in a month, which is why Mr. Quite Bulky gave me the lecture about coming more for the cardio workouts. Maybe when I lost the weight, I lost the size? I haven't been shopping since last spring, so it's entirely possible.

Is my whole life going to be this eating/working out thing? I feel like it's all consuming. When does it not taste like sweet crack when drinking a Dr. Pepper. I had one for the first time in a LONG time today, and WOW, that stuff is good! Some people say they don't even like stuff like that anymore after they have made all these changes, so either they lie, or they lie. So, when is it no longer the mental exercise of making the decision each time I'm hungry to not eat this or that, and just a natural response to what's ordinary? When does it change from asking myself if I'm going to the gym, to just saying I am? Longer than 7 months, I do know that.

I notice my energy level is picking up, and quite frankly, I don't know what to do with it. Crazy to think that I don't know what to do now that I feel like doing stuff. Ironically, I will probably work on my bakery concept more.

I am going on another 40 mile bike ride! This makes me happy!! May 21st is the big day, and yea!

So, what's got me thinking is that I had a scare today, that's not exactly over. I've been dizzy for about a week and a half, and it's scaring me. The doc did an EKG today, which was, THANK GOD, normal. She ran some blood work, an MRI of my head, and an inner ear test. Inner ear was swollen, so at her advice, I'm taking Mucinex to see if I'm dizzy because of sinus drainage. No other results are back yet. My blood pressures have been normal for the past week, which is great. It's just scarey to think that there might be this genetic clock that going to go off, and there is no way to stop it. And, that the doc ran tests today as if this were so. I'm 36. My dad was 37 when he had a quadruple bypass, and my grandmother 38 with a brain anurysm. I don't want a turn. I hope this is an inner ear infection of sorts, and I can quit stressing out about this. The whole reason for all of this (the change in diet, the exercising, the blogging, the entire lifestyle change) is to fight all of this. But...what if? What if genetics says it's coming, and that's that? Ugh...