Sunday, February 26, 2012

Cake and Burgers

One effect of this strict diet that I've been on is a detox process. Apparently, one of the symptoms of detoxing is cravings. I typically have never had a habit of eating dessert after a meal. BUT...Now, if I could eat a whole cake after lunch and dinner, I would. I crave cake after EVERY meal. Specifically, something of the chocolate variety. Occasionally, coconut or strawberry. Well, I've developed a cake craving right now just talking about! Doc Brown says, "Oh, the cravings will pass." Wierd! Also, if I could have a burger every meal, I'd take it. Just a basic one with cheese, mustard, ketchup, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, and grilled onions. YUMMMM! The only thing I can actually eat right now is the burger patty and grilled onions, which I have been doing occasionally. Still, I miss the rest of the package. And if I could get my hands on some fries or onion rings, I believe I would consider it heaven. Again, I have never had such cravings for a burger and fries/onion rings in my life. All I can say is that I'm tapping into my roots, and my inner child is begging to get out!
See what I mean...
I won this battle with the chocolate ice cream cone, by the way :-)

Friday, February 24, 2012


The little booger has been evicted! No more parasite!! From unclean to clean in 6 weeks! (Well, and 14 years) There are a few more tweaks to get me completely back up to par, but I'm well on my way. I'm still on the diet until all is back to normal, but I can eat fruit! I've now lost 18 pounds, and just bought some new jeans at the next smaller, again! I had to cut a hole in my belt to make it fit. Uh...why did you just buy a new belt Joanna?? Because that would have made sense, that's why :-) I'm keeping what I'm now calling my "tent jeans" so I can do one of those pics where I am half the size of the jeans, when the time comes.

Some observations:
1. Organic food actually does taste better, and doesn't sit as heavy. I thought it was all a gimick...oops!

2. It's hard to hold your hands on your hips when the hips aren't there anymore. Hands keep slipping off, thus reducing the impact of the non-verbals. Hmmmm....

3. There IS a difference in bottled spring water. Ozarka now tastes funny. Been drinking Mountain Valley, cuz Doc Brown says the PH is lower. He's right...who knew?

4. Thought the grocery bill would spike with all this "healthy food." Nope! It went down about $40 a week. CRAZY!

5. I really like eggs, apples, and fresh green beans :-) (not all together in one dish...)

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Funk 1, and Funk 2

Funk 1 and Funk 2 stem from the same place...the detox going on from this funky diet I'm on from Doc Brown to assist in the eviction of the little booger. To recap, I can ONLY eat protein (chicken, beef, certain fishes, nut butters) and COOKED vegetables. The only dairy I can have is from a goat, which is more available than who in the world ever knew.

Funk 1
So, I've eliminated all wheat, soy, cow dairy, corn, and sugar. My body is adjusting to the detox by providing a certain, specific, funky smell from the underarm area at certain, specific times of the day. Mainly when I get up in the morning! WHAT IN THE WORLD??!!?? I shower at night, get up in the morning, and BAM, there it is. SHEWY! It's not every day, but when it's there, IT'S THERE! I'm sure that makes me that much MORE attractive to my hottie hubby...HA! Doc Brown said, "Yes. That's your body detoxing." OH...well, excuse me! YICK! It's got me paranoid, but I'm sure this too shall pass. I also just thought of the "Pit of Dispair" in Princess Bride...random.

Funk 2
I've been eating this very restrictive diet for 5 weeks. I have "cheated" maybe 4 times. When I cheat, I pay the price. In about 24 hours I get so sick I can't go to church, work, or even get out of bed from a tremendous lack of energy. So, it would behoove me to stay the course...thousand points of light (Bush, Sr. reference). So, like tonight, I would like a burger and fries. Nope. Earlier today, my coworker traded his green card for American citizenship, and did I eat the chocolate cake. Nope. I go through everyday wanting something I'm not supposed to eat. In all the books, and talking to people who have changed their eating habits, they ALL say something to the effect of "You'll lose your cravings. You won't even want that stuff anymore." What kind of jacked up crack were they smoking!!??!!?? EVERY DAY I want something I can't have. It's getting on my nerves, and putting me in a sort of funk. Chicken and broccoli, chicken and zucchini, burger patty and asparagus, burger patty and broccoli. All this sounds fine and dandy until I have to cook ALL OF IT to make sure there isn't any sauce, or bread crumbs, or condiments, etc. Maybe everyone who changes their diet goes through this, but DANG already! Get this little booger out of me for pete's sakes!! Does anyone know who Pete actually is?? Just wondering.

And Kevin is my hero...he just fought with Olive Garden for me. He ordered for me. In this funk, I just couldn't make a decision. He ordered chicken with broccoli and zucchini, and clarified there would be no sauce. It came out, and it was on a bed of penne pasta with marinara. He made them remake I said, MY HERO!! :-)

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

'Life is Funny...As In Peculiar, Not Haha"

My grandmother (Gaga...the original, not this hussy showcaed on today's version of music's top 20) used to say that...Life is funny, as in peculiar, not haha. Today is a day I totally agree! Here we are, in the midst of Bipolar Week, and I can, and can't, understand why it is the way it is. The events that dictate this to be Bipolar Week happened so long ago, however still evoke an array of emotions, different from year to year. The week begins in memory of my brother, with sadness, remembrance, what-if's, and still anger at times. The week ends with a celebration of my being cancer free. With this I am relieved, thankful, blessed, and encouraged. These events happened one year apart from each other, and were 17 and 16 years ago. Sometimes, the memories are like they were yesterday. Time is the peculiar paradox here. How can it be so long ago, and feel so close? Always in my heart, always moving forward, moving on.

Now, don't get me wrong. Life is FULL of haha. For example, I have now lost enough weight for The Mick to notice, and he said, "I was thinking you were a pretty girl, and now you've lost weight." What in the WORLD was that supposed to mean?!?!! I think I know, but I am FOR SURE NOT asking! Just gotta laugh.

I guess the peculiar and the haha get to balance each other out, and for that I am very thankful!