Sunday, November 27, 2011

You Gotta Fight For Your Right To Parrrrrr-Tay

My Mom was a champ at living life in spite of her pain. She was a great example of not giving in, and said many, many times over, "I can hurt at home, or I can hurt at (church, the mall, the baseball game, the movie, etc.), I might as well be at (the aforementioned not-at-home places)." This is a HARD motto to follow. It sounded admirable at the time, but I wasn't in pain, and had NO IDEA what she really meant. Now that I am in constant stomach pain, I've tried to live by this, and the Mom "WOW factor" just went up a bajillion notches. She was an AMAZING woman!

So, this was me yesterday living the motto. My nephew was in town. Either I give in to the pain, stay home, and miss the entire thing, or I just go for it. I went for it.
Turned into these...
That turned into this!

TOTALLY worth it! Did I sleep well...nope! Am I fighting again today...yep! Will it be worth it...better be (LOL!)! I pray that when the doc's office opens tomorrow at 8am, I will be able to find out some answers, and begin the end of this mess.

Again...KUDOS to my AMAZING Mom for being an AWESOME example!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Turkey and the Trots

Is that like Benny and the Jets? Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving, for starters! Now, I registered for the Turkey Trot in Houston this morning, however, here I sit at home in Euless. What's funny about that is that this is the second event I've signed up for, and not made because of some strange medical condition. Well, third time will be the charm. There are several events locally over the next several months. And, I WILL trot next year, oh yes, I WILL TROT!!

So, we stayed home for my obvious need to not travel and to take it easy. Kevin then decided to invite the in-laws up here for Thanksgiving lunch. I'm NOT cooking, or doing anything special here. I feel like crap. So, on his own, he found out that Cracker Barrel has a package Thanksgiving meal for 6, and swiftly ordered it for today. It comes with turkey, ham, dressing, gravy, cranberries, biscuits, corn bread, and 3 sides.'s only $50! $50!! We like Cracker Barrel, so hopefully this will make a fine sub. Paper plates, plastic table cloth, and all other things tossable have been purchased. Now we wait and watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

This is one of my favorite floats because who isn't thankful for Snoopy?

And for my weight update, I have lost some more eating my doctor enforced protein/carb diet.

AAAHHHHH...Mickey just floated by :-) I like Mickey Mouse! Ooooh, look! Ronald McDonald's foot is deflated. What up wit dat?

Happy Thanksgiving America!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

How to Lose Weight Eating Carbs

Yes! That's the phenom going on here. BUT, before I go any further, I have an announcement! I CAN HAVE COFFEE!!! Talk about being able to find my Zen! Now, I have now been upgraded to a "low-fat" diet with a special pill that dissolves on my tongue before I eat. This special pill does something to my digestive system that decreases the pain of digestion. I LIKE this special pill. While I've tried food of the non-mushy variety, it just sits better if it's pasta, my special no-butter/no-cream mashed potatoes, beans, rice, oatmeal, etc. And, against all current pop culture literature giving carbs the beat-down, I continue to lose weight. I even had cake last night...HA! Ok, I know, the reason I keep losing weight is because they haven't figured out the problem yet, and blah, blah, blah. I would, though, like to take this moment though to tell pop culture that MASHED POTATOES ROCK, and make an amazing comfort food, even when modified.

So...let the turkey talk:

Obvioulsy, when I get all fixed and better, I'm going to have to figure out how to keep this off. That's a bridge to cross when I get there though. The bridge I'm on is crazy enough. Hopefully, they will find what's wrong in tomorrow's scan. Why do I have this sneaky suspicion that I'm not going to be able to eat Thanksgiving dinner...sigh...

Monday, November 14, 2011

"I'll have the steak sandwich, and...the steak sandwich."

I thought I might have graduated from my liquid diet, BUUUUT no. My doc said I could upgrade to what I so lovingly call the "mushy food" diet (rice, beans, potatoes, oatmeal, etc). I was so proud of myself for cooking two pots of beans over the weekend. Kevin was a "Super Trooper" and ate it with me. But alas...OH NO! NOT GOOD! So...doc's orders, back to the liquid diet I go. Fortunately, I go to a GI specialist tomorrow, who might be able to change all this. Until then, nothing says gourmet like juice and broth with a hydrocodone chaser...

So, this blog was SUPPOSED to be about the adventures of changing my diet and learning how to exercise at the gym. Hopefully, I won't be derailed for too long.

As for my weight loss, I gained a few pounds when I lost all will to diet combined with the trip to Houston for my nephew's 4th birthday. This stomach issue I've picked up has some perks. I've lost what I gained plus a pound. The turkey tells all...

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Jerry McGuire Memo Moment

Having made my very scary trip to the hosptial this week has got me thinking. Who wouldn't become a bit reflective after something like that? It is an odd thing, but I suppose since I've survived cancer, I always feel like it could come back at any moment, and it's just a matter of time. This may not ever be the case, but how am I supposed to ever really know. With the pain I went through on Monday, how am I not supposed to automatically think it's back, and wonder how much time I have left? Fortunately, the docs in the ER were able to quickly verify "It's not a tumor" which is say the least!

Also, I'm going through some withdrawls this week. I've been taken off all caffiene. I have coffee EVERY morning, so I'm not sure what to do here. I was even told decaf is out. I'm also not supposed to be having anything acidic, so no OJ to sub out for coffee. As I expected, I have this major headache. AND, I was told not to take any Tylenol or Alleve because of the way it could irritate my stomach. No coffee, no tea, no tylenol, no Alleve = Despicable Me. So far, I've only tried to correct the way Kevin drives, the way he eats, the way he heats up his food, his sleeping patterns, and his clothes. Who says all this isn't making me cranky...LOL! Poor Kevin! And I think I may have made a friend angry. This is only based on how she's been reacting to me, not because of any specific feedback. Not sure what I did just yet, but I'm sure I did it, whatever it is.

So, insert Jerry McGuire Memo Moment here:

I suppose it's natural, after a life threatening ordeal such as cancer, to take moments like this hospital visit, and refelct to make sure I'm not squandering my second chance at life. I've made several major life decisions based on other moments of this reflection. What's interesting is the older I get, the more difficult it is to make "major life decisions" without it impacting the lives of others. I would LOVE to figure out how to start up a bakery/cafe, and excel at that venture. I LOVE the concept at Cafe Brazil, and would LOVE to do something similar. Problem with it is, I am doing well at what I do now. I have been recognized as a "leader" and have been accepted into an advancement program. It's a stable career that lends itself to the "normal" 8-5 schedule, and it's very safe. I don't really like what I do, even though I'm pretty good at it. This isn't big news to anybody that knows me, though.

Another thing is I don't get enough sleep. I'm ALWAYS tired, and am tired of being tired. There are a plethora of reasons why I don't sleep...achy muscles after working out, snoring husband, yappy cat, overthinking my day, and other various reasons. It's 6:45am, and I've already been up for an hour. I thought if I went to bed early it would help. Nope! Kevin goes to bed later, wakes me up. Cat starts yapping, wakes me up. Kevin starts snoring, wakes me up. I get mad, never get back to sleep, and here I am. Is this why people get king sized beds? I dunno, but I do know I'm tired of being tired. I also have nightmares, and wake up screaming about twice a week. This week's excitement came one night from dreaming a fireman hit me on the back with a shovel while I was riding a bike, and last night a figure hovering over me while I was sleeping. Anyone who interprets dreams...ready, go!

Then there's this adoption thing. Geez where do I begin?!? Talk about zapping the life out of you!! I'm so sick of this "process" I ready to just stop it all together. BUT, if I do that, then we don't get a kid. Such an unfair predicament, but then, life just isn't fair, is it! We had an appointment set up for this past week, to get going again, but fate snatched that right out of our grasp...AGAIN!!! I'm SO ready to throw in the towel. My emotions can't take much more!

And...I REALLY miss my mom! I've REALLY been struggling with this the past several months. It will be 6 years in February since she passed away. I need her in more ways that 150,000, and I get nothing. Well, that's not true, I get a huge hole. How could I be so ungrateful?!

And, if ANYONE asks me if I've prayed about any of this, I will personally hang you up by your toenails! Give me a little credit, thank you very much! It tires me to no end to be around those who assume, that because things are a bit off kilter, that I have put aside and lost my grounding, my faith, my entire belief system. COME ON, PEOPLE!!

Now, back to my question: Am I squandering my second chance at life? Sigh...I don't know! You hear about these people who make these radical life changes, and say it was totally worth it, and their only regret is that they didn't do it sooner. Then you hear about those people who make those same radical decisions, and their entire life around them falls apart as they pursue these changes. I wonder what the difference is. I have made some changes to improve my lifestyle, including the working out and better eating habits. It's easier to play with my nephew. I have more energy. I am going skiing in February, and wouldn't have been able to manage that a year ago. So, there are some changes. Also, I went and got my friend back. This is a very long story, but the short of the long is that I was done letting our friendship slip away.

Is patience the answer? Is taking it slowly the answer? Is promotion at work the answer? Is a king sized bed the answer? Is there even an answer? I don't know, really. All I do know is that I have been given a second chance at life, and I don't want to blow it!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Baggage Claim #17 - Where he started the IV

If you are ever in the Denver airport and pass by baggage claim #17, know that is the spot insanity began. From the elderly woman who sat on my belongings, to the airport EMS starting my IV, to being rolled out on a stretcher, baggage claim #17 will always hold a special place in my heart...or stomach, as it were. My stomach attacked me with intent to paralyze. I don't take too kindly to organs not cooperating in normal fashion, so I signaled the call for help (a call to my husband who called airport EMS). Did you know airport EMS dudes can start IVs in the baggage claim area??

I've never been in a ambulance before. It was just like on tv. I asked the guy if the lights were on, and sadly no, I wasn't a "true" emergency. While I think that was probably a great thing, who doesn't want to ride with the lights on?? When I got to the ER...JUST LIKE ER!! Docs and nurses were standing in a line waiting to talk to me as they wheeled me in. JUST LIKE ER!!!!

After ALL the questions, and ALL the tests, and ALL the student docs that teemed around my ultrasound gasping out, "WHAT IS THAT?" (I did laugh at her out loud, which caused the erruption of laughter by the teeming student docs. Who says that in front of the patient?? SERIOUSLY??) I seem to have reason to believe I have "pre-ulcer symptoms" (quote by MY doc here at home). The answer to WHAT IS was my gall bladder...that was normal! Someone didn't read their homework!!!

I'm now on a liquid diet, on Nexium, and playing the waiting game. I call in a report to my doc each morning on how I'm doing. He thinks this should take about a month to resolve. Party on, Wayne!

I still can't get over that he started my IV in baggage claim!!