Yesterday was a total pain!! At work they catered in Red, Hot and Blue. Last time they did that, I had "just a little bite" to "compliment" the food I brought from home. I also gained weight that day. So, yesterday, I fought a hard mental battle to not eat anything "from the forbidden table," and what did I get in return...nothing. Didn't lose anything at all! I had just hoped that it would make a difference that was more visible. Sure, spared my body the fat and sugars, but I had just hoped the scale would show something...a kind of reward for fighting so hard to "be good." Oh well. I should go all out today...just kidding. It's just hard to remember that the results the doc is going to look for will be blood work. I'll get the "way to go" pat on the back for the weight loss, but the real results he will be looking for will be in the labs.
This week has been especially hard, because I'm trying to make it until tomorrow. I know I only have one day left, but wow, is it kicking my butt!! My birthday is a little over a week. Last week, Dad and Aunt Nancy came up for a visit and we ate and ate to celebrate my upcoming birthday...and, I gained about 3 pounds over the entire weekend. I've worked this week to get it off, because tomorrow Kevin and I are going to Bennihana for dinner. This was a tradition for so many years growing up on my birthday, and I've decided to resurrect the tradition. That will be a sodium fest galore. We won't be able to go on my actual birthday, because we will be in Eureka Springs, AR on vacation. So, I've been "going to the mattresses" fighting off temptations all this week. Very, very, very difficult. I think, "Do I want (xyz), or do I want Bennihana?" Obviously, the answer is Bennihana. So, I pray, fuss, and pout about the whole thing. I just never realized how much "bad food" was around me all the time. And I mean All The Time! And, I never realized what a pouter I am :-) I really get upset when I have to relinquish my own desires on this stuff, and give in to "the right thing to do."