Indulgence

Indulgence is the word I'm going to use for what has happened over the past couple of days! First, I'm going to pat myself on the back (helps justify the indulgence, and makes me feel better even though...well, you'll see). I went the longest I've gone yet, just eating the 1600 calories...7 days in a row! UNHEARD OF!! Not that I felt I needed a prize/reward, I just needed what I'm going to call a "break" (insert "Friends" memory here) I hit my brick wall of insanity, and decided on indulgence for the past two days. Admittedly, it was all "in the moment" indulgence..the fries, burgers, ribs, queso and such :-) And not all at one time :-) (If I keep putting the smiley faces, it makes it better too :-) ) Oh yeah...and there were cookies :-)

Really though, I know, I know...sigh...

18 Minutes!

I ran a total of 18 minutes on the treadmill last night! I pushed myself, because I was feeling it about 9 minutes into it. It was a walk/run effort for 35 minutes, 2.5 miles, and 18 of it running. My best so far! Kevin did great last night too. Unknown to me, he was also walk/running, and he did 18 minutes too! We are sooooo getting in shape!

It's so funny to me, because here I am on the treadmill. I'm thinking, "OH YEAH! I got this thing beat!" I finish the walk/run, and see myself in the mirror, and reality sets in once more...I'm still on the chubby side! BOO!! I've lost 7.5 pounds since I started tracking calories again last month. I have 14.5 more to go before I'm in the "normal" weight range for my height. Then, my actual goal is 9 pounds more than that, for a total loss of 31 pounds. Actually, from when I started this blog, the total lost amount will be 37 pounds.

Kevin and I have a goal to be the "new hotness" at the 4th of July party. Each year, we go to Cleburne and catch up with old friends. Each year, someone there has lost a bunch of weight. AND, each year, they seem to have kept it off. We have decided that WE are those people this year. Now, there is one friend who has already lost her 40 pounds. She will also be "new hotness". We don't mind sharing the title :-) We hope to have lost 15 pounds, so actually, she will have us beat...WHATEV!!!

Counting Calories Works...DANG IT ALL!!!

I don't know why I get so upset about all this, but I do. I don't like change too much, and this is definate change. That being said, I have lost 5 pounds in the last month. Last night for dinner I shared a pizza with Kevin, and my side had no cheese. See, that would be extra calories, fat and cholesterol that I don't want. I did notice the crust was much crispier.

Every day, I look in the mirror and see how much this program/routine is working. I also see how big I have become. I still can't believe I let myself gain so much weight, and get so out of shape. 37 pounds since I got married almost 8 years ago...geesh! Now, I've dropped 11 of it. Hopefully, this 5 pounds a month thing will work out, now that I've figured out how to do it.

Also, I'm a "produce pal." We have this program at work, and I'm on a team of 5 people. We log in how much produce we eat in a day, and it gets scored and compared to other teams. As of last week, we were 261 out of 377. We have some work to do, but I get a kick out of logging in more points than they do...hahaha! My "Monica-tude" emerges! (Friends reference, in case you missed that)

All that being said, I'm off to Easter lunch...LOL!

Suimsuit Edition

If you clicked on this link, thinking you were going to see me in a bathing suit...BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA.....ROFL, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! However, here is a picture of my new bathing suit...my first Speedo :-)

Took it for an inaugural swim today, and I think I swam .18 seconds faster!!!

I Cheated On The Mick!

LA Fitness has a website, where I, as a member, can go to sign up for future training sessions. I am able to sign up two weeks in advance. A couple of weeks ago, I logged in, and The Mick was already full. He had NOT ONE SPOT open for the whole week (this week). So, I had to keep my routine...I signed up with Justin! Who's Justin? Had no idea! He just had an open spot when I wanted to go. So, I went, tip-toeing through the gym, hoping not to get caught. I met Justin, a young guy, Army vet (poor guy has lost vision in one eye because of a blast in Iraq...had to stay on his left so he could see me). As an aside, he has a great attitude, and I'm impressed with his enthusiasm. We focused on upper body, and my arms felt like they were going to fall off by the end. He is evil, just like The Mick, but in his own way...geesh! During my workout...I was busted. I look up and The Mick is waving at me. OOPS! I waved back, of course. Later, on my way out, he stops me and asks why I didn't have him to workout. I just laid it out there, "You were booked, I had to cheat on you." He laughed. I assured him I would have him again next week! I may alternate between him and Justin now. I liked the variation. Shhhh.....

Foot Long Corn Dogs and Fried Pickles!!!

Man, have I been busy!! I decided 7 weeks ago that I would have a booth at a vendor show called Antique Alley. Birchfield Baking Co. is officially on the books, and in action. Antique Alley is an antique show (obviously) that goes 25 miles from Cleburne to Grandview on Hwy 4. People set up their tents on the road, and shoppers are backed up for miles and miles trying to find a bargain on what looks like mostly junk to me. There is a spot just outside of Cleburne called Whipp Farm. This is an area where 20-30 thousand people come through in one weekend. Enter me! I rented tent space in the food area and sold cookies, brownies, various candies and spiced nuts. It was quite a production, and now I'm pooped, but thrilled it worked out so well. We plan to do it again in September.

One MAJOR education I had was food...go figure. Literally, for 10 days, I was on my feet working/baking for 12-13 hrs...EACH DAY! Ok, well, on Sunday I sat down for church...haha! I had the priviledge of using a commercial kitchen owned by a family member. He had a lunch buffet every day that was free to me. We're talking meatloaf, fried chicken, chicken fried steak, ribs, mac and cheese, scalloped potates, and some veggies here and there. They are excellent cooks, by the way! Then, during the show, I ate things like foot long corn dogs, sausage on a stick, bbq sandwiches, fried pickles, fried okra, sampled my cookies and brownies (hehe), and the list goes on.

I took the "walk of shame" to the scale this past Monday...I had maintained my weight! So, the very valuable lesson learned is that I can eat whatever, whenever, as long as I'm on my feet working my butt off for 12-13 hours every day. (long pause for thought) Ok, nevermind! I'll eat less...LOL! Can I just say though, that foot long corn dog was FANTASTIC!!!


My booth! It looked like a used Honda sitting next to new BMWs, but this is what I came up with in 6 weeks, so thbtttttt! Just wait until September!

Doctor's Report

So, THANK GOD, I do not have any tumors or cysts!! I do, however, have endometriosis...duh...that's what I said already :-) There are some treatments that we are going to be considering over the next couple of days. And, because I've been poked and prodded, it hurts a bit more now than it did this morning...woohoo for that.

Because I was near one of my favorite bbq restaurants, I decided to endulge for lunch. Yummy Cousin's BBQ.

Need A Good Cry

I'm not, and never have been, much of a cryer. Right now, I wish that weren't the case. I've been so wrapped up in trying to make sure my cholesterol is down, and making adjustments in my eating to lose weight, that I compeltely forgot about the real chronic issue I have. It doesn't bother me every day, or even every year, for that matter. BUT, when I have "flare ups" they come with a vengence, and there's nothing I can do about it. No exercise, gym regimine, eating habit, or stress reducer will ever change that. I'm having a "flare up" and I'm scared. So, since this blog is about my health, I'm making a post.

Endometriosis is the problem. I was first diagnosed with it when I was 16. At the time, I was told that usually people between the ages of 30-55 get it. And, I was told that when I get pregnant, the hormone changes will probably help reduce, if not resolve, the flare ups. Now that I'm 36, there are several problems with that logic.

1. Not only have I had 3 surgeries to deal with this, I've had the tumor removing surgery. All these surgeries were in the same spot, leaving so much scar tissue, that they can't go in anymore and do what they do to temporarily resolve it.

2. Also, the scar tissue is so thick that I can't get pregnant. I have the physical capability to get pregnant, because when they removed the tumor, they left everything else. At the time, the thinking was that I was 21, and needed the hormones that female organs provide. The scar tissue, however, is attached to every organ from my belly-button down. If I were to get pregnant and grow in that way, there is a strong likelihood that the tissue would tear organs, and endanger myself and the baby. So, there won't be a pregnancy to "change the hormone balance."

3. Scarey part: Since I've had ovarian cancer, and I still have endometriosis, I am at a higher risk for developing cancer again.

So, each time I have a flare up, I'm scared cancer is back. (insert explicative of your choice...mine starts with an "s"). The doctors act as if it's back when I go to get it checked out. Lot's of blood tests, poking and prodding. While I am grateful for the sense of urgency, it scares me. There's not a very high survival rate for ovarian cancer, because more often than not, the symptoms don't show up until it's too late. Literally, I am one of two people I know that have had it and survived. The 4 other women I've known with it have lost the battle. Young women, and older.

I wonder if I really beat it when these flare ups happen. I wonder about my "time clock" and how long can I go cancer free. I have chosen to live a life putting God in control. Theoretically, we are all on a "time clock" and none of us know when "the time" is coming, and I know that God is in control of that. This is the time when I'm supposed to find faith and strength and endurance, knowing that everything is going to work out in the end. I'm supposed to take a deep breath and be brave.

I am going to the doctor today. There are some differences this time, as well, that shake me up and rattle my sanity.

1. My mom is not here this time around. (I just teared up, btw) She was my warrior, my freind, my helper, my Antone's sandwich grabber, my offense and defense, my comforter. I want my mom to come with me. Instead, I am going alone. Kevin couldn't get off work. (I'm supposed to take a deep breath and be brave.)

2. All new doctors. I'm supposed to trust my OB, who I've been seeing for 7 years now. She knows me, she knows my history, she helped explain to Kevin why I shouldn't get pregnant. I've had a flare up with her before, but this time it hurts/burns so much more than that time. (I'm supposed to take a deep breath and be brave.)

3 & 4. Well, there is a third and fourth, however since this is a public post, I'm keeping it to myself. But there is definatly a 3 and 4 (I'm supposed to take a deep breath and be brave.)

Time to get ready for the doc appt. Taking my deep breath now...

I Get a Trophy

The hiatus is over, the gym is back. Not too bad. I thought it might be hard after not going a week, but it was not. I told The Mick about my eating habits adjustments, and that I had lost 2 pounds already. He told me that when I lose 15 pounds, I'll get a trophy. Why do I feel like this is a trick?! Why do I sense the dirty old man talking here?! I'll let you know when the time comes. Maybe it's a free training session...lol! I'm suspiciously intrigued, and a lot scared!

Also, I looked down tonight, and noticed something I hadn't really seen in a while...kneecaps! Yup...they're still there, and starting to say hello.

Opening Day Adjustments

The original plan was to have various flavors of wings and fries from Wingstop, chips and queso from chilis, and Coke (for me)/Pepsi (for Kevin).

Ok, so I just couldn't do it. I just couldn't scrap all the hard work I did this week on one meal. I looked at the calories of wings at Wingstop...110 per wing...ugh. I looked at calories of french fries...same thing. Let's not mention the sodium in all that. I just couldn't do it. So, I started looking at alternatives. The Chef in me kicked in, and I made a list of what food would be "normal" at a ball park. Then, I started thinking of how to alter that. Here's what I came up with...


This was my meal...turkey chili frito pie, with low sodium fritos and fat free cheese. Homemade avocado dip with just avocados, lime, garlic, little salt, little pepper, and multigrain chips.


This is Kevin's meal...turkey dogs (he's SUCH a trooper). The "dog" part was all white meat turkey, "no fillers", "no added colors", and "no..." (something else I don't remember). It's topped with the turkey chili and fat free cheese. Then he also had the low sodium fritos and avocado dip. He endulged with a Pepsi...can't blame him for that!

I kept repeating to myself..."it's not what I eat, it's how much." I did NOT go back for seconds, and because of that, I was able to keep it just at 1600 calories for the day...a bit under actually!

All in all, a great opening day! The Yankees beat the Tigers, the Padres beat the Cardinals, and during that game Berkman outhit Pujols. Baseball has begun, and I'm ready to watch my DisAstros give it a shot against the Phillies this afternoon! GO 'STROS!!!