Evicted!

The little booger has been evicted! No more parasite!! From unclean to clean in 6 weeks! (Well, and 14 years) There are a few more tweaks to get me completely back up to par, but I'm well on my way. I'm still on the diet until all is back to normal, but I can eat fruit again...yahoo! I've now lost 18 pounds, and just bought some new jeans at the next smaller size...yahoo, again! I had to cut a hole in my belt to make it fit. Uh...why did you just buy a new belt Joanna?? Because that would have made sense, that's why :-) I'm keeping what I'm now calling my "tent jeans" so I can do one of those pics where I am half the size of the jeans, when the time comes.

Some observations:
1. Organic food actually does taste better, and doesn't sit as heavy. I thought it was all a gimick...oops!

2. It's hard to hold your hands on your hips when the hips aren't there anymore. Hands keep slipping off, thus reducing the impact of the non-verbals. Hmmmm....

3. There IS a difference in bottled spring water. Ozarka now tastes funny. Been drinking Mountain Valley, cuz Doc Brown says the PH is lower. He's right...who knew?

4. Thought the grocery bill would spike with all this "healthy food." Nope! It went down about $40 a week. CRAZY!

5. I really like eggs, apples, and fresh green beans :-) (not all together in one dish...)

Funk 1, and Funk 2

Funk 1 and Funk 2 stem from the same place...the detox going on from this funky diet I'm on from Doc Brown to assist in the eviction of the little booger. To recap, I can ONLY eat protein (chicken, beef, certain fishes, nut butters) and COOKED vegetables. The only dairy I can have is from a goat, which is more available than who in the world ever knew.

Funk 1
So, I've eliminated all wheat, soy, cow dairy, corn, and sugar. My body is adjusting to the detox by providing a certain, specific, funky smell from the underarm area at certain, specific times of the day. Mainly when I get up in the morning! WHAT IN THE WORLD??!!?? I shower at night, get up in the morning, and BAM, there it is. SHEWY! It's not every day, but when it's there, IT'S THERE! I'm sure that makes me that much MORE attractive to my hottie hubby...HA! Doc Brown said, "Yes. That's your body detoxing." OH...well, excuse me! YICK! It's got me paranoid, but I'm sure this too shall pass. I also just thought of the "Pit of Dispair" in Princess Bride...random.

Funk 2
I've been eating this very restrictive diet for 5 weeks. I have "cheated" maybe 4 times. When I cheat, I pay the price. In about 24 hours I get so sick I can't go to church, work, or even get out of bed from a tremendous lack of energy. So, it would behoove me to stay the course...thousand points of light (Bush, Sr. reference). So, like tonight, I would like a burger and fries. Nope. Earlier today, my coworker traded his green card for American citizenship, and did I eat the chocolate cake. Nope. I go through everyday wanting something I'm not supposed to eat. In all the books, and talking to people who have changed their eating habits, they ALL say something to the effect of "You'll lose your cravings. You won't even want that stuff anymore." What kind of jacked up crack were they smoking!!??!!?? EVERY DAY I want something I can't have. It's getting on my nerves, and putting me in a sort of funk. Chicken and broccoli, chicken and zucchini, burger patty and asparagus, burger patty and broccoli. All this sounds fine and dandy until I have to cook ALL OF IT to make sure there isn't any sauce, or bread crumbs, or condiments, etc. Maybe everyone who changes their diet goes through this, but DANG already! Get this little booger out of me for pete's sakes!! Does anyone know who Pete actually is?? Just wondering.

And Kevin is my hero...he just fought with Olive Garden for me. He ordered for me. In this funk, I just couldn't make a decision. He ordered chicken with broccoli and zucchini, and clarified there would be no sauce. It came out, and it was on a bed of penne pasta with marinara. He made them remake it...like I said, MY HERO!! :-)

'Life is Funny...As In Peculiar, Not Haha"

My grandmother (Gaga...the original, not this hussy showcaed on today's version of music's top 20) used to say that...Life is funny, as in peculiar, not haha. Today is a day I totally agree! Here we are, in the midst of Bipolar Week, and I can, and can't, understand why it is the way it is. The events that dictate this to be Bipolar Week happened so long ago, however still evoke an array of emotions, different from year to year. The week begins in memory of my brother, with sadness, remembrance, what-if's, and still anger at times. The week ends with a celebration of my being cancer free. With this I am relieved, thankful, blessed, and encouraged. These events happened one year apart from each other, and were 17 and 16 years ago. Sometimes, the memories are like they were yesterday. Time is the peculiar paradox here. How can it be so long ago, and feel so close? Always in my heart, always moving forward, moving on.

Now, don't get me wrong. Life is FULL of haha. For example, I have now lost enough weight for The Mick to notice, and he said, "I was thinking you were a pretty girl, and now you've lost weight." What in the WORLD was that supposed to mean?!?!! I think I know, but I am FOR SURE NOT asking! Just gotta laugh.

I guess the peculiar and the haha get to balance each other out, and for that I am very thankful!

The Mick Stood Me Up!!!

Ok, first of all...I don't get stood up!!! EXCEPT THAT I DID!!! He was there when I arrived at the gym. I went to the locker room to change, came back out, and he was GONE!! I was even ready 10 minutes early! He had even called earlier in the day to confirm our session! WHAT IN THE WORLD???!!! Well, I dunno what to say, except he BETTER BE THERE MONDAY!! And he has some answerin' to do!

In other news, I feel so much better than I did. Here's why:

I got rid of this

And this

Started drinking one of these every day

And have been taking these vitamins, minerals, and enzymes twice a day

All I eat is protein and cooked vegetables, and I have lost 7 pounds in two weeks. By the way, two Wednesdays ago I decided to go off his diet and have a nice spaghetti meal at Olive Garden. I had it with meatballs, the salad and breadsticks. Uhmmmmm...I paid for it for two days. Lots of pain, almost no energy whatsoever, and had some more personal issues. CRAZY, because how many times have I had that same meal and not had any trouble? LOTS! I learned my lesson, and I haven't "cheated" in 10 days. That's the longest I've EVER stayed on a "diet." I go see Alternative Medicine guy (aka Doc Brown) again today. We'll see what he has to say now, and what direction I am headed.

Honduran Hauntings or Mexican Mishaps???

Where to begin? I spent many high school holidays and summers on mission trips to La Pesca, Mexico. It's in the middle of Mexico on the Gulf coast. Guess what their main industry is...fish (if you don't know spanish). We had many fish gatherings with the locals after long days of home repairs, church repairs, and Bible studies. We had a joke, because my dad would incessantly say "Don't drink the water" then, turn around and say, "Make sure you're drinking enough water." We would bring LOTS of bottled water.

Then, I lived in Honduras after college for 6 months helping out with various projects in various places (preaching school, local medical/dental/nutrition clinic, mountain villages, hospitals for the sick, hospitals for "crazy people", orphanages, etc.). Also, there was my motorcycle wreck in Honduras, where I made a judgement call that may not have been "good judgement" (Drank some water of unknown origin given to me by a local woman just after the wreck). My thought was that if there was going to be a problem, it would be a "24 hour" problem, and I would just deal with it. Who knows where this came from, but the good doctor is 99% sure I have had a dormant parasite for a VERY LONG time, and it's now active.

WHAT??!!??!! I haven't been to Mexico or Honduras in 15 years!!! He said, "It doesn't matter. What matters is that you were there." OY VEY!!! SERIOUSLY???!!! Yes...seriously. I am now taking enzymes to get rid of the little booger. It can take several months. My diet has been changed to protein and cooked vegetables only. Good thing I like protein and cooked vegetables :-) Everything else "could" cause irritation in the infected area, and the good doctor wants to reduce that "possibility," which is fine with me. Also, no sugar, because the little booger likes sugar. Roger that...no sugar. No need to encouarge it...eeewww!

There were other things. I have two areas of pain, the other is the stomach muscle spam the hospital surgeon suspected several weeks ago. Also, I'm low on certain minerals, vitamins, and immune system levels. Taking minerals and vitamins to boost that up to normal. And, the good doctor is also a Chiropractor, so I had some "adjustments" in my neck and back. Talk about holistic! I still have some skepticism with this holistic/alternative/homeopatic treatment, BUT he hasn't done anything to harm me, and he makes the most sense out of anyone so far. I still have other appointments with other doctors to rule out a few more things. Just gotta keep praying and puttin' along.

SERIOUSLY??? A PARASITE???!!! YUCK!!!

"Dude, I am seriously messed up! Why did you marry me?"

Kevin: "Are you serious?"

Me: "Yes! I'm sick all the time, and look at all these 'psychological traumas'!"

Kevin: "Because I love you! What are you talking about? You're not sick all the time."
(Notice there was no comment about the "psychological traumas"...HA!)

I started filling out the holistic doc's packet-o-questions yesterday. I have to list everything medically/clinically that has ever happened from braces to cancer. THEN, there's the section on psychological traumas. It seems that as a child, I had quite a few (and by few, I mean many) medical problems. I hadn't thought about all that in a LONG, LONG while. (Did I mention it's been a while?!!) And, I have NEVER just sat down to write it all down and look at it. It was/is just life. Now, it's life on a piece of paper, and it looks overwhelming...on paper. Hence the question to Kevin. The paper says I'm a complete train wreck. Now that I think about it, his dad was a train mechanic, repairing the train's breaks. Maybe, that's why Kevin feels comfortable with me...it's familiar territory...HA!

Anyway, I'm also keeping a food log. It's very detailed, from time that I eat to what I eat broken down into the different food groups. No casseroles this week...OR I could attach the recipes...I'll think that through a bit later.

Ok, that's all for now. And for the record, I'm tired of not feeling well!

(When I looked up pictures of train wrecks, there were also photos of Mel Gibson, Brittany Spears, Kate plus 8, Murdoch, Lindsey Lohan, Charlie Sheen...well, you get the idea!)

Confessions and Such

Not too far into this new year, and I already have confessions...woah! Not too bad though. I was going to quit blogging. I was getting bored with it, so I thought I'd be done. Well, things are getting interesting again, so I want to be able to look back and see how I made it through. Still no answer on what's causing this pain. I've decided to go to a holistic doctor. You know the kind. A whole body work up to include what I eat, how I sleep (or don't sleep), how I exercise, what causes me stress, how I relax (do I even do that??), etc., and then he comes back with some kind of way for me to "find my Zen" (just an expression people...nobody freak out). Herbal this and that, maybe accupuncture, maybe nutritional changes, Yoga...who knows. Several friends swear by this, and since conventional medicine ain't workin', I've got to try something. My mom went to one of these docs for a while, as did her best friend. It helped both of them...my mom with her diabetes, and her friend with digestion. To control cholesterol, my dad is a vegetarian because conventional medication causes too many side effects. So, I guess the nut ain't falling far from the tree :-)

The Mick is working with me at a much lighter pace, so as not to aggrivate my issues, but still keep the workout routine going. I haven't weighed in a couple of weeks, so I have no idea how that's even going. Don't want to really. Walking helps the pain, for whatever that's worth. I've been trying to get about 30 minutes a day, but sometimes I just can't. I made it through my work week. Glad to have today off.

I have a "packet" coming from the good doctor, and I've had to start logging what I eat. Should be interesting!